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Day of the Iguana [PICS]

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02:13 / 01.12.05

I was going to stick these in that thread where Anna talked about meeting the snake in London that looked like a copperhead, but I can't find that thread for the life of me. So I put them here.

So. Sometimes, people say to me, "Grant -- you've just had Hurricane Epsilon. Why do you live in Florida?"

I live in Florida because it's a vibrant place, full of life, welcoming all kinds of immigrants from all over the tropics. Like this guy, who turned up in our yard last Friday.

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In case you don't have a good sense of scale, that fence is around shoulder height at the point closest to the canal, and the log is as big around as my thigh is long.

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I figure from the tip of his very long tail to his bulging, muscular jaws, this creature was about five feet long.

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Long tail, see? I have no idea where he came from. Did he swim there? He was just sitting there, hanging out. Didn't move, even when I got right up close.

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Then, when I went out to the dock to try for a better angle, I found why Boss Bull Iguana was so relaxed.

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He'd brought reinforcements.

This guy, who was probably more like three feet long, just dove right into the canal as soon as he saw me.

I really wonder, though. A few months back, there were a couple young gators who'd set up shop in that canal. I can't help but wonder if this guy had anything to do with their disappearance.

I've read that these iguanas are peaceful vegetarians, but this one -- he just had a smug look about him.

02:54 / 01.12.05

That is weird, and wonderful. I don't think iguanas of any kind occur naturally in Florida, so both of these had to be escaped pets or from a zoo. And doing quite nicely, thank you, it seems. I guess with a jaw like Big Boy there, you probably tend to have fewer problems than the less-endowed. They are vegetarians, though, so the disappearing gators probably have nothing to do with them.

03:00 / 01.12.05

Vegetarians, yes. Peaceful? Well, watch out for that tail, that's all I've got to say...

Those guys are so beautiful and healthy! I envy you Floridians, with your wonderful reptile wildlife.

07:00 / 01.12.05

....and I thought it was exciting watching sparrows in the tree outside my window.....

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:44 / 01.12.05

It's the forelegs that scare me. Because they look very much like forearms.

08:50 / 01.12.05

Let's just back up a bit. The iguanas are fabulous but did you say that you have aligators in the canal behind your house?

09:14 / 01.12.05

Is the second one a different species? It doesn't have the same spiky dorsal ridge, the banded tail, the blunt snout or the dewlap as the first.

09:16 / 01.12.05

wah! I can't see them. I just get wee red crosses.

09:45 / 01.12.05

He's not smug: he's beneficent. He chased the 'gators off, man—he's looking after you.

09:59 / 01.12.05

aargh. Loomis just emailed me the photos, and I'll never sleep now!

10:47 / 01.12.05

This is the best thread ever.

12:06 / 01.12.05

Loomis: Let's just back up a bit. The iguanas are fabulous but did you say that you have aligators in the canal behind your house?

I think wildlife control came and took them away. The lady across the canal was feeding them chicken, the lonely old coot.

Any fresh water around here is fair game for alligators -- they were here first, and it all eventually connects with the Everglades. Every year, there are stories about golfers having run-ins with alligators in the water hazards on the links. Generally, these end with gators being picked up by guys in brown uniforms and carried off somewhere wilder.

Ganesh: Is the second one a different species? It doesn't have the same spiky dorsal ridge, the banded tail, the blunt snout or the dewlap as the first.

Actually, it does have a dorsal ridge and a banded tail -- just less prominent ones. I have a feeling the one is younger and/or a different gender than the other. I suppose I could look that up....

Mmm. I could have sexed them. Seems like the dewlaps and pronounced crest are a MAN thing.

12:16 / 01.12.05

You seem rather blase about the alligators grant. Don't they, like, eat people? I would've thought a run-in between a golfer and an alligator would result in shreds of multi-coloured clothing floating downstream.

13:26 / 01.12.05

Well, no -- like most large predators, they tend to go for things that are easy marks. Small deer, frogs, little snacks like that. Humans are really tall, fast-moving and not necessarily as timid as they should be, which is kind of freaky for a gator. They tend to stay away... unless they've been fed by people. Then it's like, "Ooo! Tall thing! Snack time?"

Also, the ones in our backyard were young -- around a foot smaller than the big iguana (although probably heavier). They probably couldn't eat anything larger than a rat. In another year or so, I'd have gotten nervous about my dog being near the water.

13:38 / 01.12.05

Ah, maybe I'm confusing alligators with crocodiles.

14:02 / 01.12.05

Well, they're pretty much the same once they've grown up. (We get crocodiles around here, too, but they're very rare and stick to salt water.)

What's the difference?

14:14 / 01.12.05

Interesting site. Glad to have a myth busted:

MYTH! It is often said that you can outwit a crocodile by running in a zig-zag fashion away from it. This isn't true! Humans can out run crocodiles on land, and a straight line is the fastest way of putting distance between yourself and the crocodile. Most crocodile attack victims never see the crocodile coming - they use surprise, not speed.

I must confess I don't understand how anyone can choose to live anywhere with alligators running around in their backyard. You might wake up one day wondering why everything is dark, only to discover that you're inside an alligator's belly.

14:21 / 01.12.05

Yes, the lack of man-eating animals in Scotland is a good thing. People bitch about the climate, but I reckon it's a small price to pay for the lack of natural disasters *touches wood* and animals that can kill you, be it via poison or big sharp teeth.
Comedy now dictates that I will be walking home and be mauled by a hippopotamus or something.

14:46 / 01.12.05

I can see the headlines now, Phox: "Man crushed by falling hippopotamus."

"In other news, rare species of tree-dwelling hippopotamus now confirmed extinct."

15:05 / 01.12.05

"Those moments when you wish you had a camera because no one will believe you"

grant, I think you should tell people the story of the time you ran over the 'gator...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:13 / 01.12.05

I'd be prepared to pay an exorbitant subscription fee for a channel that was just golfers being eaten by 'gators.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

00:02 / 06.12.05

"Now this one here's a big'un! But I'm gonna sneak up on 'im an' shove this golf club in 'is mouth! Strewth! That one nearly got me! But I'm a canny bugger, I am, and Steve Irwin won't be bested by a Golfer Eating Crocodile any day!"

Yeah, I'd watch that. Part of the fun of "Crocodile Hunter" was always the hope that Steve would meet his match. Hopefully meet it in the stomach of something large, sharp, and covered in scales. The lizards shall have their revenge at these indignities!

Grant, that thing is just phenomenal. Look at the head. That's like a dinosaur head out of a museum. Seriously. That's the monster that time forgot. Its probably some immortal swamp "thing", its been biding its time out back of your house, sending out its small green minions. Soon, it shall STRIKE!

02:59 / 16.04.07

The Iguana is now part of our everyday life.

But recently, My Ecoadventuresome Spouse had a similar encounter with a rather large native reptile. In the pioneer days of the last century (and yes, the 20th century was when the swamp pioneers settled this area), these beasts were feared for their razor sharp jaws and long, snake-like necks.

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My better half, though, she just grabbed it away from the dogs (who'd either disturbed it nesting by our house or else chased it up from the canal bank) and stuck it up somewhere to take a picture of it. With its neck in, it's less than three feet long.

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Still, it's got a memorably adorable face. These guys use their noses as snorkels. The braver pioneers would see the snorkel, grab the thing by the neck underwater and turn it into soup. The slower pioneers would lose a finger or two.

We're not pioneers, so my better half decided to liberate the thing before I got home from work and let it run in terror back to the canal.

"They're surprisingly fleshy," she says. "And heavy."
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03:35 / 16.04.07

More on the softshell turtle.

The species name, ferox, means "ferocious."

05:18 / 16.04.07

Had a couple of those as pets as a kid. Once, an alligator snapper. They would always mysteriously "run away" before they got big enough to hurt me. My mother was very comforting about it.

01:04 / 17.04.07

Oh wow that is soo fucking cool. I LOVE reptiles. Amazing!

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

01:25 / 17.04.07

They would always mysteriously "run away" before they got big enough to hurt me. My mother was very comforting about it.

My own mother has the blood of several pets on her hands. Some were disappeared for crimes as minor as "would never shut up".

02:20 / 17.04.07

To be fair, I think the turtles were probably disappeared to a nearby pond and let go.

Not the baby gerbil I stepped on, though. That one I think she killed with a hammer. But I had broken its neck, so what else was she to do? Most traumatic pet experience EVER*, but not a reptile, so entirely threadrot.

*of mine.

01:41 / 30.08.07

The iguanas are still there. Water lettuce is beginning to clog up the canal. The neighbors rented a crane to remove a fallen tree from the water.

And now, this guy has shown up:

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Estimated length: 5 feet.

Hmmm. We're starting to worry about the welfare of the chickens.

17:28 / 30.08.07

Squeee!!! Softshell Turtle!!! When we were kids, my brother had a baby one for a pet. I think we let him go after awhile though.

17:46 / 30.08.07

Estimated length: 5 feet.

Yikes!

18:07 / 30.08.07

FAMOUS BASEBALL PITCHER EATEN BY ALLIGATOR.

18:54 / 30.08.07

Bring the kids!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

20:54 / 30.08.07

And you live there...why?

Ain't you read The Sun?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:21 / 30.08.07

I mean, I've seen stag beetles the size of mobile phones, real live wild boars etc, but unless I was very very silly, I probably would not get eaten.

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